


Infiltrate [ uchiha madara x reader ]

by greedling



Category: Naruto, Naruto Shippuden
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Other, Protective Hashirama, Protective Tobirama, Sibling Relationship, Slow Burn, he'll kill a man for you, he's crying as we speak, oh he'd die for you, real slow burn though, senju!reader, tobirama sees mc fighting with madara and it SENDS him
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2020-10-27 10:46:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20759099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greedling/pseuds/greedling
Summary: "And why should I trust you of all people?" Madara asked the shinobi on the ground, lying on their back, beat up and bruised. Blood dripped from their mouth as they spoke, venom filling their words as a fire lit up in their eyes. "My brothers betrayed me," they started. "Hashirama only spouts ridiculous ideas of peace, Tobirama only thinks with his blade." They turned their head and spat on the ground. Madara only gazed at their battered form for a moment, holding the kunai ever so close to their neck. It faltered for a second, only a second, then Madara pressed it even harder.





	1. cнapтer one

**Author's Note:**

> hi there! thanks for taking the time out of your day to read this, aha. this isn't my first fan fic, but it is my first naruto fan fiction. i'm doing my best to try and get all the characters right, so bear with me here! i promise it'll get better!  
anyways, this is also posted on quotev under the same name so if you see it over there, don't worry!

The tension in the room was thick. Tobirama and Hashirama stared at each other from across the table, scowling at each other. Hashirama was the first to speak after a moment, his eyes flickering towards you. His words were laced with pain, his heart breaking at the memory. 

"Have you forgotten Kawarama, brother?" He challenged. Hashirama's eyebrows furrowed as he looked at the younger Senju. "Would you like to send F/n to the same fate?" He motioned towards them. You sat calmly, unwilling to enter the argument they were having. 

Tobirama only sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "No, I don't. Don't assume my intentions, brother." He rubbed his temples, anger rising inside of him. "You know how the Uchihas treat their prisioners. They all come back _fine_." He stressed the last word and stood up. 

Hashirama looked between you and your older brother, then stood as well. You had your eyes closed, slowly getting annoyed with the conversation. Tobirama continued to speak. "If we make it a spectacle for the entire clan to see, the Uchihas-"

You held up a hand effectively silencing your brother. Placing your hands on the table in front of you, you pushed yourself up. "Tobirama is right," you spared a glance to the man beside you, then set your gaze on Hashirama. "if we fight at the rivers edge, they will see it. They'll have reason to believe that I'm actually betraying the clan. I'm sorry, but, Tobirama and I will go through with it." 

He looked at you from the corner of his eye, then nodded. With closed eyes he muttered a small apology, then took his leave. Hashirama's lips pressed into a line, looking at his youngest sibling. He had already lost too many brothers, he didn't need to lose you too. However, your mind was made up. You always put the clan first, it was something a lot of people admired. Hashirama himself struggled with doing whats best for the clan, but you seemed to take after Tobirama. 

"You two..." his voice was just above a whisper, fighting off the tears that were sure to come in the following seconds. "You two always think the same way," he let out a sad laugh, rounding the table and coming to stand by you. He placed a hand on your shoulder. His grip became stronger as time passed. You pulled him into a hug and buried your face in his chest, feeling your throat tighten. 

Just because you understood what it took to do what was right for the clan didn't mean you were cold hearted.

Holding back your emotions was something you learned and perfected, but not with your brothers. You felt like you could be yourself around them without fear of judgement. Hashirama let out a shaky breath before he spoke once more. 

"Please promise me that you'll come back in one piece."

You sniffled and pulled away, wiping your eyes with your sleeve. "You really think a couple of Uchihas are gonna take me down?" You joked. Hashirama wiped away his own tears but to no avail, they still dripped down his face against his will. He let out another sad laugh and patted your head. "We have to do this tonight, brother." Your eyes dropped to the ground.

Hashirama pursed his lips, forcing himself to put on a brave face. "I understand." He stepped away from you and stared at the armor stand as if it were the enemy. Like _it _was the one forcing his sibling to go off into enemy territory. The metal clinked against itself as he put it on, cheeks still wet from the fresh tears, eyes puffy.

Tobirama entered the room, it was easy to hear him. His armor was loud. You turned to face him and he pulled you into a hug. He was rather cold, but he cared for you. Your older brothers set you on a pedestal and played favorites with you. As much as Tobirama liked to deny it, everyone knew how much he cared.

Hashirama was better at showing it, but of course he had to deny it. Not that anyone believed him though. 

Tobirama said nothing as he let you go. What could he say? He was the one who brought up the idea to beat you up as a spectacle for the Uchiha. If the brothers screamed that you were a traitor, the Uchihas were sure to listen. They were sure to have spies at the rivers edge anyways. You clung to your brother tightly. Hashirama wrapped his arms around the two of you. 

Nobody said anything, the three of you knew what was about to come. You peeled yourself away from them and picked up a sword. 

"Are you ready?" Tobirama said quietly. His face was stern, voice strong, but his eyes betrayed him. They were full of fear. Fear that his younger sibling might not make it back, that they might _die_ on the other side, that the plan wasn't going to be successful. Terrible images flooded his mind. He forced them to the back of his head, he had to stay optimistic.

You readied your sword in a defensive position and in a moments notice, metal clanged against metal and you slid back a few feet. 

"Traitor!" Tobirama yelled as loud as his heart would allow him to. Your heart felt as if it was breaking, but you forced that feeling to go away. This was all pretend. It was all for the sake of the clan. Your hands formed signs, you fumbled a few times but it still worked. Water spilled from your mouth and headed for your brother in a concentrated, powerful line. Hashirama pulled his brother to the side and the two slammed against each other. Tobirama yelled at him for a moment as you ran off. The two brothers stood and chased after you. You were the fastest among the three however. You twisted and turned around the people in the hallway. 

You rounded the corner and slammed into a woman. She yelled out in surprise and fell backwards. She looked up at you, ready to give her attacker a piece of her mind, but upon seeing your face she smiled. You had caught yourself luckily and you could only stare down at her. Airi, one of your closest friends, was about to witness you getting kicked out of the clan. You had thought she'd been asleep by now, it was fairly late. 

"F/n! What are you in such a hurry for?" She stood up and dusted herself off. You didn't have time to answer, you could feel that your brothers were getting closer and closer. You shook your head, shoving her to the side and running off. You ran through the territory only to trip on some rocks. You didn't have time to catch yourself however and you tumbled forward. 

Tobirama and Hashirama emerged from the estate, Airi on their heels. You pushed yourself up from the ground and spit out the dirt that had gotten in your mouth. 

Tobirama didn't give you much time to recover as he sprinted over and brought his sword down. You rolled out of the way at the last second. You scrambled to get up and grab your sword, turning around just in time to block a hit from Hashirama. 

"How could you do this?" He yelled loud enough to get some attention. A few people stepped outside of their homes to watch in disbelief. 

_Airi must be thinking of the worst possible situation. _You thought as you spared a glance towards your friend. Her older brother, Aoi, had come to stand beside her at one point. He had to hold her back from running at you. You sighed internally, now Aoi had to watch? You liked him. Damn it, everyones going to watch you be disgraced tonight, aren't they? 

You pushed Hashirama away and swung your sword at him only to feel a kick in your side. You dropped your sword once more and tumbled to the ground. You groaned in pain. _Geez, go easy will you?_ You glared at Tobirama. He picked you up by your collar and slammed you into a nearby wall. Your head banged against the wood and you yelled out in pain. You clawed at his hands as he lifted you higher and higher, your feet left the ground and suddenly it was getting hard to breathe. It only just now registered in your mind that you were being choked. 

You dug your fingernails into his bare hand, effectively drawing blood. Landing a few well placed kicks made him drop you. You didn't have time to sit on the dirt and catch your breath however. Forming the signs as quick as humanly possible, you hit Tobirama with a huge wave of water that sent him back a few feet. Your head was spinning and your vision was blurry. Your neck was sure to be bruised. _Tobirama's really selling it, huh._ You thought. You ran towards the riverfront from pure muscle memory only to be knocked back on your bottom.

Hashirama sure did punch hard. He couldn't stop the tears welling up in his eyes as he watched you fall to the ground and grab at your face in pain. He had gotten you in the mouth. You spit out blood at his feet, staring at him. He hesitated for a moment. You swiped your leg out under his feet, effectively bringing him to the ground. You stood once more and ran for the river. _They aren't making this very easy for me!_

Tobirama had put a stop to the flowing water from hurting the other clan members, then he ran after you. "Hashirama!" He yelled as he zipped passed his brother who was too lost in his own pained thoughts. The brunet stared at the ground where your blood had pooled, then ran after his siblings.

You had made it to the river and you could feel Uchiha eyes on you. You stood on the water in a defensive stance, if the Uchiha were to come out it wouldn't matter. The river is a no-mans land. Tobirama could surely feel them too. He neared towards the water and you started forming signs

"F/n." He warned, looking down at you with squinted eyes. He knew this move. You pressed your hands together and formed a finger gun. A large ball of water gathered at the end of your fingers. Tobirama was faster than you though. A water dragon had come directly at you in a matter of seconds, sending you flying to the other side of the river. 

Instinctively, your heart dropped. In your heart, you knew you weren't supposed to be here in your heart, but the mission called for it. Hashirama had run across the river only to stop at the bank. As a last ditch effort, you pulled the kunai you kept on you and threw it at him. He dodged a bit too late as it grazed his cheek. You stayed in your spot on the ground, arm extended. He pulled back his hand and for the first time, you were afraid of your brother. You had to remind yourself that it was all an act, and that he didn't hate you. 

Hashirama's hand came down on your cheek hard. Tobirama was stunned for a moment before he ran across the water and pulled his brother back. You could still feel the Uchihas among you, watching from their hidden spots in the trees. The two of them watched as you stood on shaking legs. You backed up further into enemy territory, blood dripping onto your already dirty clothing. You spit on the ground once more, glaring at your older brothers who barely had a scratch on them. Well, you were playing on the defensive here. All was quiet as your now ex-clan members stared at you in disbelief. You weren't making a move to return safely from enemy territory. 

You pulled off your cloak and threw it to the ground. You stared at the Senju clan symbol on the back of it longingly. Your heart broke as you looked across the river. Nobody said anything as they stared at you. Tobirama pulled Hashirama back towards the safe side of the river and you leaned against a tree, breathing heavily. 

It would be a while until you saw your brothers again. 

You peeled yourself from the tree, rubbing at your bruised neck. You were definitely going to yell at Tobirama for that one. You saw his eyes land on the marks that littered your body. Hashirama stared at you for a few seconds before turning on his heel and heading back into his rightful territory. 

You headed further into the trees, unsure of where you were really going. You swayed a few times. Eyes were on you from every angle, you could feel it. You figured they'd stop you before you got too far. The fight replayed in your mind a few times and you always tried to stop thinking about the fact that Tobirama had not let up on you. 

Whatever. Hopefully it was a convincing first act. You stared ahead at the forest. The trees only seemed to get thicker from here. You could only hope that you were skilled enough to pull off the second act of this mission. With a pained heart, the events of last night kept replaying in your head.

_With baited breath, you waited for Tobirama to answer you. After you and your brothers had come back from training, you pulled the silver haired man to the side and presented your idea to him. The Senju's were having a tough time keeping their territory lines, and if you could just go and _see _what their weakness was, you could report it back to your brothers. You had fought with yourself on the idea, but if you wanted to win and keep that territory, you had no choice. _

_For Madara to believe you, you had to be publicly thrown out._

_Your brother finally answered you. "How do you know you wont die if you're found out?" He challenged. You shook your head. "I don't. But it's a risk I'm willing to take. A risk I _have _to take. If we want to keep people safe, we need to find out their weakness and the scouts haven't figured out a damn thing." You crossed your arms. Tobirama put a hand atop your head. He was glad that you took after him _sometimes_, and he sure did love to rub it in Hashirama's face. _

_He remembered that as soon as you could walk, you ignored Hashirama with his outstretched hands and had stumbled towards him instead._

_Hashirama has yet to get over that. _

_Tobirama was stuck with you at his side. He would be lying if he said you annoyed him, however._

"_Fine" He sighed._

You felt like someone was squeezing your heart. You had been walking for a long time now, and it hurt to know that you couldn't face your brothers anymore. You couldn't walk out of your home and spend a safe day with Airi, you could no longer train with your brothers and yell out in victory when you managed to knock Hashirama down, all of that had to be pushed aside now. According to the clan, you were a traitor. 

You fell against a nearby tree and sunk low to the ground. Your breath was heavy and it was getting harder to breathe. You tried to suck air into your lungs but that only made it worse. The logical part in your brain told you to slow down, that you were going to pass out, but you just couldn't erase the memory of Tobirama fighting you with all his might. Your hands flew to your neck, feeling the bruises and rasied skin from where his nails scratched you. Blood still leaked from your mouth and you were sure your face was covered in bruises.

Your arms were littered with scratches from the amount of times you fell during the fight. Your vision was starting to lose its light, making you panic even more. You were filled to the brim with anxiety, what if you did all of this only for you to just be captured as a prisoner never to see the light of day again?

_No, no. Calm down F/n, that wont happen. You're related to the head of the clan. Madara knows that I have information. _You reasoned with yourself. You barely registered the ninja jumping down from the trees, surrounding you. Your head felt heavy as you lifted it to look at the men who had dropped in front of you.

One of them looked vaguely familiar. He was barking out orders but his eyes never tore away from you. His hands stretched out towards you and out of pure instinct you flinched. Your head slammed into the tree with a sickening thud and you leaned forward, holding your head in your hands and groaning.

Hands had come up under your arms and you were lifted to your feet. They left you for a moment but you stumbled forward into a body, who caught the both of you. You heard the man sigh. He lifted you over his shoulder and you were stuck looking at the ground as your arms dangled in front of you. At this point, you were barely aware of what was going on. With weak hands you tried to hit the mans back, kick your legs, _anything_ but it only resulted in his grip tightening. 

Your vision was going dark once more, and you suspected that it was the fatigue mixed with the anixety, not to mention you hitting your head. You struggled to keep your eyes open but ultimately failed in the end. 

The next time you opened your eyes, your wrists were in chains and you were in a wooden prison. For a moment you thought that they had sent you back to your brother, and he was forced to put you in a cell but you quickly noted the Uchiha clan symbol on the back of your guard. The chains jingled as you stood from your uncomfortable position on the ground. Your back was killing you and your neck was rather stiff. Upon hearing you, your guard turned to you and pointed a kunai at you. 

Frozen in fear, you only stared up at him. You lifted your hands up slowly in surrender and got back down on your knees and lowered your head, occasionally glancing up at the man in front of you. 

"You're to stay _still_ in one spot, _Senju." _He spit out your last name like it was poison. If you didn't know any better, you would've started screaming at him, reaching your arms through the bars to throttle this man. But Tobirama had raised you right. You did let the scenario play out in your head though, just to quell your anger for now. 

"Listen to me," your voice was hoarse and _god damn_ did your throat burn. It was disgustingly dry and it hurt to swallow. The man only huffed and started to turn around. "I need to speak with Madara," you edged closer to the barrier on all fours. "I'm here to give him information." The guard turned back towards you, filled with rage. 

"Did I not tell you to _stay put?!"_ His foot made contact with the bottom of your chin and you were sent flying backwards. You felt blood dripping from the corner of your mouth again. "Madara already knows you're here." He pointed a finger at you. "So shut the fuck up and-"

"That's enough, Kiyoshi." Another voice had interrupted him.

Fear struck your body once more, freezing you in your spot on the ground. You didn't dare to make a move. You knew that voice. To be in front of Madara Uchiha unarmed was completely and utterly _terrifying_. Your big brother even had trouble fighting him, and he was the strongest one in the clan! You shut your eyes tightly and went through breathing exercises in your head.

You heard wood scraping against wood and you could only guess that _someone_ was coming in.

"But they're-!"

"I said _enough_, Kiyoshi!" Madara's voice boomed. You flinched. You felt him coming closer and closer until he finally nudged your form with his foot. "Get up." He ordered. Without hesitating, you opened your eyes and lifted yourself into a sitting position. Madara knelt down besides you and it took everything inside you to at least look in his general direction. You wouldn't look into his eyes.

"Look at me." 

Not a chance in hell.

"Now."

Your eyes met his. 

Madara brandished a kunai and held it dangerously close to you. Your breath hitched in your throat and you dared not look away from his eyes. He raised an eyebrow and he readjusted his grip on the kunai.

"Senju F/n, correct?" He asked like he didn't already know the answer, the smugness in his voice irritating you to no end. He probably thought you were a bounty of war- a Senju sibling caught in his camp? Tobirama must be reeling at the thought! You nodded slowly. 

"The one and only."

Madara scoffed. "Glad to know you still have your wits about you." 

You couldn't help but roll your eyes at that one. He pressed the kunai against your neck and your eyes snapped back to his. He stared at you for a moment, his gaze lingering on your bruised neck. 

"So," he started, pushing the kunai a little deeper into your skin. It was just barely scratching the surface of your skin. "I'm told that you and your brothers had a little scuffle. Oh, what did they call you?" He looked away, tapping his chin and pretending to think. That's when he snapped his fingers and his eyes were back on yours in a moments notice. Madara grinned ever so slightly. "Traitor! Am I right about that one?"

You gulped and nodded. His presence was overwhelming. The man shook you to your very core every time you saw him during battle. You've never fought him, but you've traded blows with Izuna before. 

"And you're here _why_?" He raised his eyebrows. You didn't know how to answer him. What are you supposed to say here? _Hi Madara! I was your sworn enemy just until a few hours ago until my brothers kicked me out because I was named traitor to my clan and disgraced in front of my own people so I'm here to get back at them by giving you information! ....Yeah, right. Like he'd fall for that bullshit. I really should've thought this over._

He tilted his head and moved closer towards you. You didn't answer for a few seconds, which only served to anger the man in front of you.

"Cat got your tongue? Come on, out with it." He demanded. 

"I'm here to give you information." You spoke a little louder than you had intended to. Madara stared at you for a moment. For the first time you saw the man speechless. He usually always had _something _to say to big brother. 

"And why shoulld I trust _you_ of all people?" He spoke, leaning closer to you. Your faces were inches apart and out of reflex you leaned back, supporting yourself awkwardly on your arm. You allowed your anger from earlier to manifest itself once more, hopefully Madara would fall for it. Blood leaked from your mouth in tiny lines as you spoke. 

"My brothers betrayed me. They brand me a traitor simply because I disagree with them," you paused to spit blood on the ground. God, that was getting really annoying. "Hashirama spouts ridiculous ideas of peace, and Tobirama only thinks with his blade and follows Hashirama blindly." Madara was quiet as you continued to speak, getting angrier and angrier by the second. "The _second_ I disagree with big brother they accuse me of working with the enemy and declare me a traitor for all to see! I'm _here_ so I can make their worst fear come true." Venom dripped from your words and you had gotten closer and closer to Madara as you spoke, getting in his face to prove your point. 

He stared at you. This tiny little shinobi, the weakest Senju sibling was _here_ in his clutches bruised and bloody. He could almost laugh at his immense luck. He glanced behind him at a sensory ninja and they just nodded. Madara was aware of how much your brothers cared for you. He started imagining ways he could use you in battle. Maybe a decoy? Whatever, that will have to come later. 

"It seems," he discarded the knife and put his hands under your arms, lifting you up along with him. "you're telling the truth." He gave you a rather creepy grin.

"Oh, little Senju, this will be fun."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mc is finally allowed to stretch their legs

After being held in a jail cell for three weeks, you were suspicious when Kiyoshi finally let you out. It'd been three-- wait, maybe four days since they moved you. You weren't even sure what day it was anymore. They had moved you to a tent, but you were under guard 24/7. You weren't allowed to walk around by yourself and you surely weren't allowed to train, it was like an itch you couldn't scratch.

The fact that you were constantly guarded made it hard to send letters to your brothers but you managed. You were extremely lucky that you weren't caught. Madara had yet to visit you ever since he found you in your cell that night, but he was the head of the clan. 

"You awake, Senju?" Kiyoshi poked his head in your tent. You scoffed, like you'd get any sleep in here. You were always suspicious, and the sudden change in sleeping arrangements only served to heighten your paranoia of the Uchiha. You turned to him and his eyes traveled up and down your form. They'd given you clean clothes and allowed you to take a bath, finally, but wearing the Uchiha symbol on your back made you sick to your stomach. You forced yourself to wear the dark clothing, they didn't like bright colors here for whatever reason.

"Wow," Kiyoshi grinned. "I guess you were telling the truth, huh?" He invited himself inside and you rolled your eyes at him. The day before they had let you out, you had blown up on him, tired of his rudeness just because of your last name. You had screamed at him that you hated your family, that you were here to destroy their forces, to betray them in the same way they betrayed you. He stopped being so mean to you after that. 

"Mm." Was all you gave him, not really willing to put up with him today. He placed his hands on his hips and stared down at you. 

"Cat got your tongue?"

"Shut up. Kiyoshi." 

He snickered. 

"Come on, get up. It's finally time for you to play your part, Senju." He gestured for you to stand and you just raised an eyebrow at him. Was he talking about. . .? Of course, he had to be. That's the entire reason that you're here. 

"You know my name, stop calling me that." You spit out as you stood. Kiyoshi just rolled his eyes, mumbling something you didn't quite understand. He led you outside and you caught a couple stares. You ignored them and kept your head high as you followed your guard, hands clasped behind you to keep them from trembling. 

He slowed down to match his pace with you and you caught him looking at you from the corner of his eye. 

"What?" You turned to him, irritation rising. If he had something to say, he should just spit it out! He put his hands up in surrender, giving you a forced smile. 

"Nothing, nothing. You just look so different all cleaned up like that, it's hard to recognize you." 

Oh. 

". . . Thanks." 

The rest of the walk was excruciatingly silent until you arrived at your destination. Kiyoshi grabbed your wrist and pulled you forward, not liking your hesitation. You'd arrived in front of a large tent, it was probably where they discussed their war plans. Yeah, they definitely want your intel. But what happens after that? Will they just throw you to the side? Or will they keep you in that tent for the rest of your days never to experience the thrill of battle ever again?

No, no. That wont happen. Remember what Madara said! It was some creepy shit, wasn't it? Like 'oh look at me, I'm big-bad-man Madara and I'm gonna use you against your own family!' Okay. No, that's definitely not what he said, but that's probably what he meant? 

You shook those thoughts from your head after Kiyoshi snapped his fingers in front of you. 

"Hey idiot, you're supposed to go inside now." 

"Oh. Okay." You looked at the guards on either side of the opening. They made you uncomfortable, their stares were harsh. Kiyoshi pushed you inside the tent. Heads turned and stared at your unfamiliar form. You could only pick out two men from this small party of six and you felt like you could die right then and there. Even after being surrounded by these people for three weeks, you were still wildly uncomfortable being unarmed in front of Madara. You stood there awkwardly, twirling a loose strand of hair between your fingers. 

"F/n, come here for a moment." Izuna nodded his head at you. He was the one who picked you up, you'd learned. 

Oh, wow! someone said your name for once though! You fought off a smile. Does that mean they're starting to trust you? With the whole first-name basis and tent thing? Maybe! You snapped out of your stupor when Madara finally looked up from the map and his eyes landed on you. He only furrowed his brows and turned to Izuna. Your legs trembled ever so slightly as you went to stand beside the younger Uchiha brother. You stared down at the map, not willing to make eye contact with any of them. 

Was there a point to you being here? 

Izuna placed his finger down on the map, "I have a few questions," you could feel his eyes on your profile. You didn't like it. "about your stronghold here." He tapped his finger. You held back your surprise - on their map it was nothing but trees! How did they know about that one? You heard Madara click his tongue. . . was he not the one who asked for you? 

"How many men are inside?" His eyes never left your face, if he stared any harder he'd probably burn a hole through you. He was watching for your reaction to their knowledge of the stronghold, most likely. 

Without skipping a beat, you replied. "One hundred." 

Madara crossed his arms and looked back down at the map. "One hundred?" He didn't seem impressed. You watched Izuna's finger drag across the map, landing on the border that they were currently attacking. 

"Is it true the Senjus are lacking manpower here?" His eyes flickered to his brother, who paid him no mind. 

That was the border your brothers were having trouble with. The reason why you're here.

You took a deep breath before you spoke, hoping they didn't take it as a sign of hesitation. "Yes," you bit your lip. "there's a spot in the guard that can be easily taken over." Izuna watched you intently as you spoke, withdrawing his hand from the map. All eyes were on you and you hated every second of it. 

"And how the hell is that gonna help us?" Madara came to stand on the other side of you. Having the Uchiha brothers on either side of you while unarmed, rang so many alarm bells in your head. 

"W-well," your hands started to sweat. You placed a finger on the border, trying to make it look like you knew what you were doing. "since you guys are attacking head on, all of our men have been forced to the front," you looked at Madara from the corner of your eye, feeling more and more nervous as time ticked by. He placed a hand on the table and leaned forward, humming ever so slightly. "so if you take a small heavy hitting group through the back, i'm sure you'll take over the border. They'll be confused an in a panic, I can almost guarantee it'll work." 

Madara stood up straight and you nearly flinched. "Izuna, you and I will go, naturally. F/n, you'll come with us and help us break through in the back. It's time we tested your claims of no longer being a Senju." He turned around and walked off without saying another word. 

"Wait, what?" You exclaimed before you were able to stop yourself. Madara's steps halted and so did your heart. He looked over his shoulder and his piercing gaze landed on you. Oh, fuck. 

"Is there a problem with that?" He hissed.

This is it. This is definitely where you die.

The weight of a sword felt familiar in your hands. It'd been too long since you held one and you were itching to swing it already- but in only a few days time you'd be forced to swing it at those you once considered family. 

You shoved those thoughts to the back of your mind. As far as your clan was concerned you were all but married to Madara at this point. 

Yesterday you told Madara and Izuna how to break through and they wanted to move out almost immediately. Izuna hastily provided you with armor but they refused to hand you a sword until they decided it was time for you to train. It'd been countless hours of walking besides the brothers as they made conversation amongst themselves. You didn't see a need to contribute. Everything they said had just lit a fire in your gut, pissing you off to no end. Their ideals were completely and utterly out of this world, it's something you couldn't see yourself ever getting behind.

But here you are.

"F/n?" 

Oh, right. Izuna had finally handed you a sword after the three of you made camp. It would only take two more days to arrive at your destination which means you don't have a lot of time to get reacquainted with battle. 

"You're not having second thoughts now, are you?" Izuna's smile could have fooled anyone else, but you were a lot smarter than that. He's still testing you. Of course? Why wouldn't he be? You tightened your grip on the handle, staring him down. 

"Why would I be?" 

Izuna pursed his lips and suddenly, without warning he was coming at you. You barely had enough time to lift your sword and block. You definitely weren't expecting that-- is that how the Uchihas train? No 'ready set go'? No 'are you ready'?? Are you serious!? 

"T-- Izuna!" You called out in surprise, thoroughly agitated. 

"Did I get your attention?" He shot you a playful smile. 

He let up off you and backed up a few feet. What the fuck was that about!? Honestly you could barely keep up with him. Throughout the entire trip his emotions ranged anywhere from relatively excitable to downright miserable. He was extremely hard to read and you weren't sure if he was doing this on purpose or if his emotions were just easily swayed. 

Just a couple paces to the left, Madara sat on a rock. He was watching you two intently and you could feel the burn of his sharingan on your back. Izuna was warming up to you and was ready to let his guard down, but Madara wasn't so easily convinced.

Although, you had made no move to escape.

But what if thats a part of the plan?

But they haven't tried to attack me or Izuna, they would have done it by now. We're far enough away from camp.

What if they're trying to ambush us at the border?

Well, he just had to wait and see. He watched you play on the defensive for most of the sparring session. Izuna was a hard teacher- but that's only because Madara was even harder on him but of course that was beyond your knowledge. By the time it was over you were just about exhausted and Izuna had poked fun at your sweating form.

"Aren't Senjus supposed to be feared? You could barely keep up with me!" He placed a firm hand on your shoulder, squeezing it ever so slightly. You turned to him and rolled your eyes. 

"I've been stuck in a cage for almost a month because neither of you trusted me."

"Well that was-"

"Both of you shut up." Madara pulled you two by the wrists and led you into a bush. You fell against his chest and he wrapped his arms around you to keep you in place. You were about to ask what the hell he thinks he's doing but he shushed you by covering your mouth with a gloved hand. 

The three of you were silent.

"You know, for this being Uchiha territory there aren't a lot of Uchihas around!" 

Wait a minute, you recognized that voice. Your eyes widened and you started pushing against Madara's arm to let you go. However, it only resulted in him shushing you in your ear and pushing down harder on your mouth.

"Airi, I really think we should get back. You heard their brothers- F/n's considered a traitor now." 

Upon hearing your name, Izuna and Madara both stared at you.

"I just wanna talk to them, Aoi." 

"Why? What's the point?" You could hear the agitation rising in his voice. You could imagine it now-- Airi with her hands on her hips, squinting her eyes at her brother. 

She didn't reply to him though. They were just deadly silent. Oh, fuck! The sword! You had dropped it when Madara pulled you into the bush-- you could see the handle from where you were. 

"Aoi, we need to go." Airi demanded. 

Madara decided he'd had enough of this and after realizing they weren't any threat to him or his brother, he let you go. He pushed you out of the bush and you stumbled forward, narrowly avoiding Airi's back. You quickly regained your composure and in one fell swoop you had picked up the sword before Airi could get any wild ideas. 

Madara emerged from the bush with Izuna hot on his heels. Your two friends stared at you in disbelief. Neither of them wanted to really think that you were working with Madara, but now you were just caught hiding in a bush with him! 

Being against him like that wa- no, absolutely not. No. Nope. You're not thinking about that. He may have been handsome but this-- that wasn't happening. Those thoughts aren't allowed to exist in your head. 

"F-F/n. . ." Airi breathed out, her eyes trailing up and down your body. To her it looked like you were proudly wearing the Uchiha symbol, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. You wanted to tell her everything so bad. You wanted to tell her how they kept you locked up in a cage like an animal for a month, you wanted to tell her about Kiyoshi and his bad attitude, you wanted to tell her that this is the first time you're actively working with Madara, but you froze. 

You understood your mission. 

"Do you know these two, F/n?" Izuna spoke carefully, picking and choosing his next words. "Were they friends of yours?"

Another test. 

The mission is at stake.

They could die here

People die during missions all the time.

They're my friends.

I've seen countless comrades die before me.

Airi and Aoi aren't soldiers. 

They shouldn't be here then. You have to kill them.

Wait, what!?

Did you really just think that about two people you considered to be your friends? 

You didn't know what to say, your mouth was starting to run dry and breathing was getting harder and harder as the seconds ticked by. Madara scoffed which served to knock you out of your thoughts. 

"No. They're not my friends." You stood up straight, lowering your sword and staring down at Airi with cold eyes. She gasped lightly and backed up into her brother who grabbed her shoulders and pushed her behind him. He spread out his arms as if to protect her. 

"If they're not your friends," Madara stepped in beside you, grabbing your wrist delicately bringing it up. His fingers enveloped yours for only a moment as he forced you to readjust your grip on the sword. "then you'll have no problem getting rid of them." 

"What?" You turned towards him. Right now, his hand on yours felt utterly disgusting. He was a terrible, terrible man and you hated every second of this. Was he really about to force you to kill them? 

"Now, before they start running." He pulled his hand away from yours and crossed his arms. His eyes never left yours. He was challenging you, and if you wanted to get him to trust you. . . well, then. 

You turned towards Aoi. He was trembling. 

"F/n, don't do this. You don't have to do this- you aren't like this F/n!" he pleaded, voice thick with tears. Every step you took towards them was filled with pain, your throat constricted as you forced yourself to choke back tears. You had to put the mission first.

"You shouldn't have come here." Your voice was low. You could feel Izuna and Madara's stares on your back, burning a hole through your armor and staring at your heart.

Tears streamed down your cheeks but you steadied your arms. You would not fail the mission. You would not fail the mission. You would not fail.

You lifted the sword.

You would not fail. You weren't allowed to fail. You're a Senju. Senju's do not fail their missions. This was for the better of the clan. They shouldn't have come here. 

"F/n, please!" 

You couldn't afford to fail. You squeezed your eyes shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey !! so first off i'd like to apologize that this took SO so long, and that it is SO VERY SHORT. i know where i want to take this story, i know how i'd like it to end, but getting it started proved to be a challenge for me.  
i have a lot of trouble writing for madara because i've never written for a character like him before. if he seems ooc, let me know! i'd love to get feedback on everything i can improve.  
anyways, now that this tough part is over, i should be updating on a regular-ish basis.  
!! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which everything gets fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey gamers sorry this took so long im anxious about writing for madara lol

Gloved hands enveloped your wrists forcing you to stop mid swing. Your eyes shot open and you stared at Aoi who had fallen on the ground, pleading for his and his sisters life. Your eyes traveled from them, to the sword, to the hands, and . . . to Madara. Your brows knitted together. Was he not the one who had just instructed you to kill them? Why is he stopping you now? Is this another test? Something to break your will, to break your ties to your clan? The man before you stared straight into your soul for what felt like eons before he finally turned to the siblings on the ground.

"You two must take me for a fool." His hand tightened on your wrist. "If you wish to continue breathing, then you will leave and you will tell Hashirama that his sibling," he emphasized his point by harshly pulling you close to him. You dropped the sword and fell into his chest once more. "belongs to the Uchiha. Appreciate their feelings for you two. If they were nonexistent, you two would have lost your heads by now." 

Aoi stared up at him, confused. Airi's eyes shifted to the sword you had dropped. Before you could yell out to her to stop whatever the hell she was planning, she lunged for the sword and held it up. 

Madara raised an eyebrow.

Izuna slid in front of the two of you with the intent on protecting his brother. "What should we do, brother?" Izuna's eyes never left Airi's trembling form. 

She wasn't a warrior, you knew that. However, you feared that if you spoke at her to drop the sword and run, Madara would soon strike you down as well. You pulled your wrist from his grasp and to your surprise, he let you go. He bent down, lips brushing your ear as he spoke. 

"Consider this a kindness, little Senju." 

His breath against your neck sent shivers down your spine and it made your head spin. Having him so close to you and to so clearly show favor for you. . . it was almost intoxicating.

Almost.

Your gaze shifted back to Aoi who stood on shaking legs. Madara stood up straight, deciding not to pay any more attention to you. With a sigh, he pinched the bridge of his nose. 

"You Senjus don't know when to give up, do you?" With a roll of his eyes, he called his brother to attention. "Izuna, take the girl back to camp. If she is brave enough to hold a sword against us, infiltrate our territory, surely she could handle-"

"No!" The word had left your mouth before you could stop yourself, and Aoi took the chance of everyones confusion to slap the sword out of his sisters hands and pulled her back a couple of paces. Airi's tear filled gaze landed on you, hope burned in her chest once more. Were you really a Senju deep down?

But that's just not the reality of the situation.

Wait, what?

Madara let out something akin to a laugh and turned to you. "Alright then, little Senju. . What do you suppose we do here?" His tone was disgustingly condescending and you wanted to wipe that stupid smirk off of his face. His eyes traveled up and down your form, gaze finally resting on your eyes. You examined him very much in the same way, mouth opening and closing slightly as you rattled through your brain trying to come up with a solution.

Ah, that would do.

You lifted your chin as if you were back in court, addressing those beneath you. Your shoulders slid back and you stood up straighter than usual. "She's not useful." Your piercing gaze landed on Aoi and he paled. "But he is. He was close with my brothers, he's bound to know some sort of useful information, unless all those big words went over your head, Aoi?" Your words were venomous. They stung the siblings deep and the pain rooted into their hearts.

"Izuna." Madara nodded his head.

"Understood." 

Airi had charged at you, hands balled into fists. But you had to play your part, right? You sidestepped with relative ease, sticking your foot out and allowing her to fall face first into the soil. 

You started to wonder if you were still playing pretend. 

This is just for the mission. Everything I've endured is for the mission.

You grabbed Airi's arm. You couldn't afford to send her sorrowful looks when Madara wasn't looking, you had to play your part. 

"Go home, Airi." Your voice was cold and your ignored Aoi's shouts as Izuna forcefully dragged him back to the camp. "Unless you'd like to receive your brother in pieces."  
And with that, you shoved her away. The mere thought of your threat had brought tears to the poor girls eyes and in this instance, you felt that you truly hated yourself. With crossed arms you watched as she retreated back home- back into a place where she'd be safe. Where she'd live out the rest of her days, forgetting about the crimes you pulled against her.

Maybe Aoi will get sent home, too. 

Madara stood beside you, his chakra was ominous and it almost made you sick. Almost. 

"I have no desire to rest any longer. Lets go." He picked up the sword and slapped it into your palms as he walked by. You sheathed the weapon, almost sprinting to catch up with his long strides. You glanced back at the direction Izuna had left in. Was he no longer accompanying you? Could you two pull this off by yourself? You continued to let yourself be racked with anxiety before something snapped you out of your thoughts.

Why am I worried about the mission going wrong? If Madara dies. . . that would make my job a lot easier, and I'd be able to go home a lot faster.

You shook those thoughts from your head, focusing on the man in front of you. He wasn't what you expected, honestly. He spoke easily with his clan members, but there was something about the way he held himself that just made you want to respect him. Your eyebrows knitted together and you sighed in irritation, causing Madara to look at you over his shoulder. Your eyes fell onto the ground, not wanting to start up any sort of conversation with him. He examined your face before deciding to mind his business. . . that is, until you sighed three times in the next few minutes. Your thoughts only served to allow you to fall deeper into the pits of anger.

You were angry with your clan for not having enough manpower in certain areas, you were angry with Aoi and Airi for thinking they could just waltz into enemy territory and end up okay-- well Airi got off relatively lucky. You didn't want to know what they did to their real prisoners. You were angry with yourself for doubting the mission. 

"Are you going to keep sighing like this the whole way or is this your way of trying to get my attention, Senju?" Madara glanced over his shoulder, a hint of amusement in his voice. You rolled your eyes and made a point to sigh even louder this time. The noise must have been anger inducing because Madara came to a sudden stop and you slammed into his back. You hissed, rubbing at your nose. 

"You did that on purpose."

"It got you to stop though."

Asshole. 

"Don't you have a brother to be worrying about?" You scrunched your nose up at him. All this man did was ignore you for almost a month straight and then toy with you. You weren't appreciative of the little stunt he pulled earlier, but you wouldn't forget the kindness. Didn't mean you had to be nice in return though. He turned around to fully face you and you suddenly felt very small. Madara only stared at you before cracking a small smirk.

"Don't you have a clan to be betraying?" 

Your gaze shifted away from his. You didn't like the way he looked at you, it made you anxious.  
His hand was on your chin, pulling you to face to him. You felt his chakra, dark and ominous. It stuck to your skin and made your cheeks tingle. You wanted to shove his hand off of you, to curse him for even touching you, but he was fierce enough to tame your inner demons with a single glance alone. The two of you shared a staring contest before he pulled in close, all signs of amusement wiped off of his face.

"You look at me when I speak to you," his voice was low. "surely you can understand that little Senju?" His eyes searched your face for any sign of defiance, any slight twitch of the eyebrow, a tremble of the lips, any tiny micro-expression that would give you away. You took in a deep breath to settle your nerves, reminding yourself that you were not yet of great importance to him; that this mission had to go off without a hitch for him to start even considering you as an equal. You squared your shoulders and readjusted your stance. 

"Understood, clan leader." You pulled yourself away with a huff and sidestepped him to take the lead this time. Madara would be lying to himself if he said he wasn't impressed with your ability to adapt to your surroundings, but he wasn't about to confess that to you. He followed you with a slight smirk for the next few hours, occasionally starting up conversations only to push your buttons and it was working. He knew just what to say to get under your skin and he found it the most entertaining thing in the world. 

You complied to his demands but only to a certain degree. You weren't like the others. When he'd give them orders they'd accept with no snide remarks, they wouldn't stick their nose in the air like you did when you clearly disagreed with something he said, they wouldn't look at him the way you looked at him. He quickly found that you were. . . addicting to watch. 

He liked the way that you didn't hide yourself from him. He didn't get that from the others, not one bit. You were like a refreshing glass of water after a long battle; something that he just couldn't seem to get his fill of.

For the next few hours he kept finding ways to push your buttons. He'd fall into step beside you and you could feel him staring. You have never wanted to punch someone so bad. 

"Little Senju, don't tell me you're getting tired. Your brothers are known for their stamina, aren't they?" He chided from behind you. Your pace had slowed significantly and your breathing was starting to get heavier. You crossed your arms. 

"Do you always have something to say?" You turned to face him, and this time he almost bumped into you. 

"Most of the time, yes." 

You threw your hands up, exasperated. "Fine, yes. I'm tired. What of it?" Your confidence with him sure had grown in the short amount of time you two had spent together and you weren't exactly sure if that was a good thing or not. If you had suddenly managed to provoke him in some way, he wouldn't have any trouble cutting you down and going about his day like he didn't just kill someone he had spent the entire day with. Your tiny group had set out early in the morning shortly after you had given up the information and the sun was settling on the horizon. Your legs burned and your feet were starting to get sore. It's not like you hadn't done something like this before, but the last month consisted of you forced to sit down in a dirty jail cell, only being allowed to get up and stretch your legs when you were being watched.

You were exhausted, all your buttons had been pushed and you almost had to kill your old friends. Madara only chuckled at your overreaction and you crossed your arms. "Alright then," he started. "lets make camp if you don't think you can keep up." 

If your lungs didn't burn with every breath, if your feet didn't ache with every step, you would have told him to shove it and you would have kept going, but god damn it you were worn down. You shrugged your bag off of your shoulders and set your bedding underneath a nearby tree. The clan leader seemed to study you before he busied himself with unclasping his armor, leaving him in a shirt that was awfully tight. Before he could catch your lingering stares your gaze shifted to the sky. The stars were becoming more and more noticeable as time ticked by, and it seemed to put you at ease. You lay on your back to get a more comfortable view and let out a content sigh.   
You could only get so relaxed with someone like him only a few feet away from you though. Something in the back of your mind kept reminding you that this is Uchiha Madara, the man who has gone toe to toe with Hashirama and lived. It blew your mind every time you thought about it. You blinked, realizing you were no longer staring at the stars.   
You were looking at Madara. 

He sat against a tree and gazed at the moon. Seeing him so relaxed was new to you, and a little voice in your mind said it was nice to look at- well, that he was nice to look at. You shook those thoughts from your head and stared at the stars once more, mind traveling to your brothers. You wondered how Tobirama was doing, was he alright? Right now he was probably working on one of his jutsus, taking notes in his scrolls until he runs out of ink. You smiled at the memories that rushed back to you- he'd often come into the dining hall, late, hands stained with ink. 

Hashirama was the tougher one to place. He was either fast asleep or taking care of clan matters. You missed them both terribly. With Madara around it was hard to sneak off and send letters without arousing suspicion, so you didn't. Madara was smart; it wouldn't take him very long to figure out what you're doing. 

Later, you awoke with a start. A nasty nightmare had wormed its way into your brain and your brain decided to hit eject, making you sit up with a shout. You wiped the sweat off of your forehead. You felt his eyes on you but you ignored them, pushing yourself off the ground and stretching. The sun was breaking through the trees and you wordlessly packed your things, embarrassment running through your body. He'd surely push your buttons about that later. The two of you said nothing to each other as you started out again. 

Thank god. 

Your eyes peeked over a bush as you stared at the familiar Senju territory. You could hear the fighting from the other side from all the way over here, and it scared you. Before you could talk strategy, Madara emerged from the bush and you could only scramble after him. The only two guards let out a shout, but Madara was fast. With deadly accuracy, he threw one kunai after the other. You watched as they embedded themselves into the mens chests and you bit your tongue. 

You drew your sword and rushed in. You gripped the handle until your knuckles turned white and you forced your emotions to harden as you struck down more and more of your clan members. The first few were the hardest, they clearly recognized you.

They all did.

You had fought together once. Eventually, they all started to look the same, their pleads began to fall deaf on your ears and the blood on your hands didn't bother you as much. 

Well, thats what you told yourself at least. 

You told yourself that if you were to live, you would have to strike them down first. You were forcing your heart to harden, you couldn't afford to fail this mission. If you showed even one ounce of hesitation, you would lose everything with Madara and Izuna. You would be thrown back into the jail cell and most likely killed for deceiving the head of the clan. So when their blood splashed on your face, you forced yourself to ignore it. When their hands reached out to you, you forced yourself to ignore it. When they looked at you in fear, you forced yourself to allow it to fuel you. You were to play the part of a Senju traitor. 

Maybe I'm playing the part a little too well.

What? 

No. 

You circled around and met up with Madara. The few guards inside had been taken care of, and you finally decided to use your brothers jutsu to help the two of you break in through the guards on the outside. You summoned a few shadow clones with ease, but Madara didn't say anything about them. In fact, he almost completely ignored you. 

The two of you scaled the large wall of the compound accompanied by your clones and as soon as your feet touched the ground, you threw shurikens into the back of the nearest man. Turning to your left, you were met with Madara. He examined the battlefield for a moment before activating his sharingan and rushing forward. You were almost mesmerized by his movements. He was trained well, all of his movements had a purpose and not one swing was wasted. Everything was calculated. If he wasn't killing your (ex) clan members, you would've thought it to be almost beautiful in a way. 

Ah, well. You didn't have time to watch him anymore. An all too familiar man was rushing at you with a fire in his eyes, but he was clumsy and easily taken care of. Your eyes searched the battlefield and you locked eyes with Izuna. It seems he made it here after all, now you don't have to walk back to camp with just Madara. You shook those thoughts from your head. You were in the middle of battle!

The fight was nearly over. Only a few Senju remained now. Most of them had either died or they managed to flee from Madara Uchiha himself and you were a little impressed by that. You sheathed your sword and rinsed your hands off in the river, ignoring the stares of the Uchiha forces. You struggled to remove the blood under your nails. Cheers brought you out of your thoughts. The clan members were celebrating their new taken territory and you started to feel sick. You wiped your hands on your pants as you stood, legs trembling. 

Your steps were slow as you walked back into the compound. You ignored Madara barking orders at his men to clean up the bodies. You hoped that they'd get proper burials. Your armor straps were starting to dig into your shoulders and the men dragging bodies around you was terribly loud. Your heartbeat sped up and your hands could barely unclasp your armor as you walked by. 

You didn't realize that the Uchiha clan was no longer staring at you with hatred, rather they looked at you in curiosity. You had started to earn their trust, but that didn't matter to you. Not right now. You held your chest piece in your arms, fighting off the urge to throw it at the next red-eyed Uchiha you saw. You could name every person you killed today, and your heart felt like it was being crushed. 

You didn't even realize that someone was calling out to you until a large hand had landed on your arm. They squeezed you so hard you thought your bones would break. You were spun around, your chest piece hitting the ground with a loud thud. 

"Are you even listening to me?" Madara said lowly, venom lacing his words. You took a step back only to be pulled closer. You stared into his eyes, he had yet to use his sharingan on you. You were surprised. The way people spoke of Madara, you assumed he had it activated all the time. You said nothing to him, though. You shook your head instead, afraid that if you spoke you would stumble over your words.

He let go of your arm but you dared not move away again. Madara rubbed his temples and you looked away. You didn't want to be anywhere near him right now- you wanted to be alone so you could mourn your clan members. . . but did you even have a right to mourn them? You had taken part in their deaths after all. 

"I have a job for you, little Senju." Your eyes snapped back to Madara. He waved someone over. "You can read and write, can't you?" 

Your efforts to calm yourself had all been washed down the drain. Was this his way of letting you know that he knows? Had you been caught writing letters when you were in camp? The man he called over carried paper and ink, likely taken from one of the buildings here in the compound. You nodded, ignoring the hair that fell in your face. 

"I want you to write to your brothers," your heart just about stopped. "under the pretense that you are betraying me." Madara smirked at you as your shaking hands took the materials. 

Oh. So he didn't know? And now you can continue to write coded letters to your brothers. . . Of course, you'd be watched while writing, but it's not like the Uchiha clan knew your code anyways. 

It was just the two of you now, the rest of the clan was being tended to or dragging away the bodies. You nodded at Madara, turning on your heel. Maybe now you can go sit by yourself and-

His hand wrapped around your hair and brought you into his chest with a thud. His armor dug into your skin and you let out a tiny yelp. Madara brought his head down and whispered in your ear. 

"You have helped us in this battle, but that does not mean I trust you. You are to stay within my sight at all times little Senju, do you understand me?" You nodded along as he spoke. You thought your heart was going to jump out of your chest. Your scalp was burning as he tugged harder on your hair. "Rid yourself of that pitiful expression and behave like the warrior you are." He finally let go and you fought off the instinct to rub at your head. You hardened your expression just as you were told. 

Without a word, he turned and left the area, leaving you to follow. Soon enough, Izuna came into view. His face was splattered with blood, but he didn't seem to mind. He beamed at his brother and sent you a wave upon noticing your smaller frame behind.

"I'm glad to see that you made it out alive, F/n." Izuna punched your shoulder lightly and you forced yourself to chuckle. He took notice of your hair but said nothing of it. You anxiously smoothed it down. You didn't want to look like more of a mess than you already were.

"Any casualties?" Madara crossed his arms.

"No, just a couple injured men but I think they'll be alright." Izuna placed his hands on his hips, looking at the compound. "There should be medical supplies here right?" 

Eyes fell on you. You forced your anxiety down into the dark corners of your mind, forcing yourself to forget the faces of those you had killed. "Yes," You said. "They should be near the west side of the compound if I remember correctly."

You missed the way Madara smirked at your sudden change in demeanor, the way his gaze landed on your hardened features; the fire behind your eyes. You were adapting remarkably well, he'll give you that. There was a lot of doubt in his mind as to if you would follow through with the mission or not, and to his surprise, you were willing to kill to prove yourself to him.

No, to the clan. 

You had thrown the ink and papers into your bag, hoping the ink wouldn't open and stain everything. The compound was left to Izuna to deal with for now, and Madara would soon send his people that way to reinforce the area. So that meant you were stuck alone with Madara on the trip back, but his attitude towards you had changed. His words were softer, and he teased you about the little things much like he did with Izuna. You could get used to th-

No, absolutely not. He was the enemy. This was a mission and you were just playing the part.

Am I really thought?

Those thoughts plagued your mind the entire way back to camp, but once the two of you were close enough, you heard the unmistakable sounds of battle. Instinct took over and you dropped your bag and ran into camp, Madara hot on your heels. You stumbled over dead guards and fell forward. Madara caught you before you could hit the ground. He looked frazzled- neither of you knew what was going on and that terrified you. His touch lingered on you for a moment before he pulled you both out of the way- a kunai was thrown right for your head. 

It was suddenly apparent to you that you hadn't worn any armor- you didnt think you'd need it on the way back to camp. You could never really catch a break, could you? You peeled yourself from Madara and unsheathed your sword, rushing into yet another fight. 

You locked eyes with Kiyoshi. He was defending himself against Senju forces and you rushed in to help. You pulled a kunai out of the dirt as you ran, throwing it at the mans leg. It lodged itself into his thigh. 

"F/n!" Kiyoshi let out a relived sigh. You took notice of Madara rushing forward straight into the heart of battle. 

"Are you okay?" You looked him over, he seemed fine from what you could tell. When he gave you the confirmation you told him to follow you. The two of you followed Madara and-- everything was a mess. The war tent was ripped and Uchiha information was stolen most likely, Senju and Uchiha forces lie dead on the ground, the Uchiha men that were still breathing were being dragged off to what remained of the medical tent. Kiyoshi left your side to go help one of his friends who was struggling to fight off two Senju men, and you heard him activate his sharingan. 

You quickly found yourself defending from a Senju man.

"You dirty little traitor," he spit at your face. You barely stopped his sword with your own and you cringed as they scratched against each other. "I'll kill you for this!" He shoved you off of him and pulled a kunai from its place on his hip. He threw it at you and it narrowly missed you by a few centimeters. Your eyes met his and he was smirking at you. 

"You've always been a fool, F/n." 

"And you've always been a-" You stopped short. A hot white pain blossomed on your back and you fell onto your knees. Blood trickled from your mouth until you found the energy to cough it up. You fell on all fours, your arms barely had the strength to keep you up now. You turned your head to look at whoever was behind you.

Aoi stared at you, emotionless. Your eyes went wide as he pulled his leg back and kicked you onto your side. You cried out in pain, bringing attention to yourself. Madara's head jerked in your direction. If he had time, he would have chided you for not wearing your armor. His legs moved before he could register it, and soon enough he was blocking a sword from Aoi. He disarmed the Senju with ease and brought him onto the ground, driving his sword through Aoi's hand and into the dirt. 

You barely registered any of this. Your vision was awfully blurry and it was getting tougher to breathe. You let out a bitter laugh. "Sorry, Hashi, Tobi. I don't think I'll be coming home." You whispered as your eyes traveled to the sky. It was cloudy now. You blinked a few times- raindrops had fallen into your eyes. 

The last thing you saw before closing your eyes was Madara, he pulled you into his arms and ripped the kunai out of your back. If you died he'd lose valuable information, he could not let that happen. He picked you up with ease and hurriedly made his way to the medical tent. It was in shambles, men writhed on the floor in pain while the nurses did their job to the best of their abilities. 

"Stop what you're doing," He ordered as he placed you on one of the open tables. "Senju F/n takes priority."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we move camp and you share a moment with madara when you wake up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi sorry i was gone for like six months, life hit hard haha. but with the quarantine i have a lot more time on my hands. i want to say thank you to everyone for all the positive comments! they're what made me decide to update and keep going with this fic and not abandon it haha. so thank you guys, i forgot how much fun it was to write for madara.   
if anything seems out of the ordinary, feel free to let me know. i want to keep a certain feel to this story and if this chapter doesn't have it, the next chapter will.

The camp was a mess. Tents were being sewn back together, weapons were missing, shinobi were being buried not too far off, and you had yet to regain consciousness. For the first time in his life, Madara didn't know what to do. He was angry with the Senjus. How they knew about this camp was beyond him- it's not like you could have sent them your location, right? No, it'd be impossible, he kept his eyes on you almost all the time. So if if wasn't you, then. . . . 

He was brought out of his thoughts as Izuna entered his tent. The younger Uchiha was soaked to the bone; the rain hadn't let up since the attack. It'd been a full day now. Madara was relieved to see that he had made it back safely, but something still poked and prodded at him, making him uncomfortable. Could it be- 

"I heard about F/n." Izuna said as he wrung out his clothes on the dirt. "Have you gone to check on them?" His eyes shot to Madara's face, looking for a reaction. His eyebrows twitched for a second, a minuscule action that anyone else would have missed. 

"What kind of question is that?" He challenged his younger brother, not liking the implications. He was using you for information, that is all. There was nothing more between the two of you. Izuna shot him a look, then rolled his eyes. Madara was so defensive at times like this. He couldn't blame him though, they were having the same sorts of thoughts.

"Just a question, brother." 

When he learned of the attack, his mind went straight to you. He nudged those thoughts out of his mind though, you had killed your own clan members without a second thought. He witnessed it. Izuna didn't think much more of it, the leak wasn't you. That was fact. He had thought of Aoi and Airi, they lingered dangerously close to clan borders. It's completely possible that it was Airi that gave the Senju clan the location of their camp, but he wasn't so sure of that either. A clap of thunder brought him out of his thoughts.

"So what was stolen?" 

"Information, mostly. We'll have to move." Madara rubbed his temples. They'd have to return to their rightful home to gather sufficient supplies for a new place- not to mention they'd have to look for somewhere to go. He wasn't going to leave without his source of information, though. No, he'd wait until you woke up. He stood and swiftly left his tent, his thoughts were filled of you. It was rather annoying that he had to wait for you to wake up before he left (though, it was a self imposed delay.). Why couldn't you just wake up and pretend that you weren't stabbed? That'd be easier. 

Izuna's eyes followed his brother closely and he rose an eyebrow. Madara was going to the medical tent and he wasn't sure if he should follow.

In your dreams, you remembered what it was like to be a child. You remembered what it was like. . . to be so full of wonder, so innocent yet at the same time, you were being trained to kill from the moment you stood on your own two feet. You opened your eyes, blinked a few times, and you were face to face with. . . yourself? 

You definitely recognized yourself, you were leagues shorter than your two brothers and had a messy head of hair, the enthusiasm in your eyes was visible from a mile away. 

_Whats happening? _

You watched yourself from third person interact with your brothers, you noted that your father wasn't around. Hashirama had pulled younger you along after distracting Tobirama, eluding his piercing gaze. You- the you from now, followed along watching the two of them duck in and out of the trees, the sunlight barely showing through the leaves. 

Wait. You remembered this! This is when you _officially_ met Madara. 

It was a sad sight to see three children try and escape the conflicts of war. You watched your younger self interact with their future kidnapper. . . he had such a smile on his face. You wished he had kept that childlike wonder in him somewhere. You knew that the war was stupid from a very young age after watching your brother die. You had learned very quickly that combat isn't kind on those who aren't quick. 

You didn't want to watch this anymore, you wanted to go home to present time and see your family. You wanted to stop fighting against the men you used to fight beside.

_ Irreversible damage._

What? 

_You can never go back._

No, that's not true.

_They'll hate you._

Stop it.

_They'll despise you._

Stop it.

_They'll want you out of the clan._

I don't want to listen to you anymore.

_You belong here._

I belong here. 

Those words swirled around in your head, making you sick to your stomach. You felt like you were going to throw up and quickly left the lakeside. You barely even registered the changing scenery around you. It was only noticeable when you heard arguing. 

Standing in front of you was three children again. It was you and your brothers. _So this freaky dream has a theme?_ You didn't even know how this dream started. You watched as Tobirama pointed an accusing finger at you and you quickly understood what was happening here. He was calling you out for seeing Madara at the time.

You remembered being so upset about it- you remember liking Madara a lot. A bitter laugh escaped your lips. . . how ironic. You knew what was coming next. 

_Am I dying?_ You thought to yourself. _Am I watching my life flash before my eyes? _

You were just an onlooker this time around in the fight, watching as past you held back tears fighting the person you once called your friend. You wished you never cried about that- your father scolded you for being soft that day. Warriors aren't supposed to be soft, he would tell you over and over again until you finally stopped caring about the lives on the other end of your sword. 

You don't know how long you had been watching yourself grow up by the time you had arrived at your most recent memories. You watched yourself and your captor run into the heat of battle, you were going to follow them but . . . something stopped you. A distant calling, a tug on your heart, small hands tugging on your fingers. 

You glanced down to find nothing, and when you found nothing, you were in nothing. You felt like you were walking on air. 

"Is this it, then?" You spoke to the empty white space around you. "That's my life? Dying in battle for a clan I don't even belong to?" You were about to pray to whatever gods you believed in to keep your brothers safe when you felt like you were falling, you reached out for something-- anything to grab on to and let out a terrified scream. 

You landed harshly on the grass. You sucked in a huge breath and coughed harshly, the air had been knocked out of you. The rain pelted down on your battered body without a care in the world. A pair of legs came into view, though you couldn't pin who they belonged to. Raindrops fell from the blade that he held before he lifted it. 

"No, please," you coughed out. Wait, what? What were you saying? You weren't in control of yourself. "you don't want to do this." You begged. 

The sword came slashing down. 

Your eyes shot open, but it was hard to register where you were. You started thrashing about, throwing the blankets off of you and hopping on your feet. Everything was blurry, you couldn't see a thing in front of you. Had you been captured by someone again? Oh, god were you thrown into another cell? You ignored the sharp stabs of pain that ran down your back as you took a defensive stance. Several bodies blocked your path out. That was fine, even if you can't see all that well you're smart enough to devise a plan to leave. Even with blurry vision you spotted an easy path out.

You ducked between the people in your way, though it wasn't as graceful as you'd hoped. You tripped over something unseen. Your left shoulder took the brunt of the fall, you let out a small 'oof' as you collided with the ground. Multiple hands were on you, pulling you to your feet and you struggled against them pushing and shoving your way out. 

"Get off me!" You shouted. 

Strong hands pulled you into a firm body and before you could spit out insults, familiar hands were on your shoulders, shaking you slightly as to not cause any further injury to you. 

"F/n!" Izuna yelled with concern. Why were you acting in such a way? "Realize where you are!" He pleaded as he pushed you back to the bed you had been sleeping on. You had been sleeping for far too long; the clan couldn't continue to wait for you to wake up. You were back at the rightful home of the Uchiha's. . . stuck in their medical department. It worried Madara to move you when you had yet to make a recovery, he didn't want to lose the ammunition he had just gained against the Senju clan. 

He gave you a moment to rub your eyes, it took longer than he would have liked but it was done nonetheless. 

"Wh...what?" You struggled to comprehend what was happening. "Izuna?" You immediately felt embarrassed about your previous actions. _What were you, a feral dog? Geez, get a hold of yourself, F/n. _You thought bitterly. "Where am I?" You briefly examined the room, still rubbing an eye. 

"Well, I typically like to call this place home." He immediately took on a softer tone with you and gently sat you down. "Specifically though, you're being treated to your injuries." 

Injuries? 

You briefly thought back to the grassland you had been laying on in your dream along with the mysterious man holding the sword. Was that the end of the battle you had been in? It didn't make sense though. . . you had no defensive wounds. You rolled your shoulders around only to hiss in pain. 

"Oh, careful there!" Izuna leaned backwards and pulled your collar back, taking a peek underneath your robe. "Looks like all the commotion reopened the stitches," he motioned for you to turn around. You pulled your legs on the bed and crossed them as you turned around. You slipped the robe off of your shoulders and the material was rough against your skin. 

"Do you require any help, sir?" A medic had asked him. 

"No thank you. I've stitched up my brother plenty of times before." Izuna had replied with a smile and grabbed a needle that sat on the table. You felt him pick at the bloody bandages for a minute before he finally got a hold on the edge. You lifted your arms so he could unravel the white medium from your body.

"Izuna. . . how long have I been out?" You thought back to the odd dream you had. It felt like you were reliving your entire life, though this time you were forced to observe all the good and bad things that had happened to you. . . a lot more bad than good, it seemed. You silently wondered how you and Hashirama were so happy all the time.

"About a week." He removed the broken stitches from your body, unbothered by the idea of the whole procedure. Your eyebrows rose at his response. Maybe that's why your dream felt so long. . . You couldn't stop thinking about that grassy scene, though. It was weird. . . that definitely wasn't a part of your life. 

Had you met the Reaper, and had the Reaper sent you back? 

You didn't flinch when Izuna started restitching the open wound on your back but you'd be lying if you said it didn't hurt. You were always sort of a baby when it came to pain. Hashirama would always stick around to take blows for you when you were younger, so you never really toughened up all that much. . . not that it was a bad thing.

You felt the bed lift as Izuna stepped off to grab some new gauze. "Hey. . ." You didn't bother to turn around as you spoke. "Where's Madara?" As if on cue, you felt his presence enter the room. How had it taken you so long to notice him coming? 

"Hello, F/n. Glad to see you've made a recovery. It would be upsetting if I lost my source of information." 

Izuna flicked his older brother on the shoulder before he made his way back to the bed. "Arms up." He started wrapping the gauze around you once you complied, though it wasn't as tight as before. 

"You're doing it wrong." Madara said, always quick to point out mistakes. 

"No I'm not, this is appropriate."

"That's not right, you're doing it wrong."

You rolled your eyes. They started to remind you of your brothers and you thought that maybe you didn't miss them so much. 

"Give it to me."

"No? F/n wants me to do it."

Well, you never said that.

"I don't care. I said give it to me."

The two of them argued for a while. You bunched up your robe and pulled it tighter around your middle, feeling uncomfortable being exposed in front of people who weren't your family. You watched the two brothers over your shoulder until your neck hurt and you sighed. Izuna had gotten irritated with the whole argument and eventually gave up.

"Fine! Be my guest. If F/n gets an infected cut it's not my fault!" He unraveled the material from your chest and slapped it into the hands of his brother and left the room. After that it was silent, and not a comfortable silence. Madara sighed loud enough for you to hear and you gulped, you didn't forget the way he acted towards you after he gave you the orders to send false information. He was scary enough to keep you in line, but mysterious enough to keep your attention. Sometimes he'd be sweet to you, and it would make you question your morals. . . other times he'd be cold, acting like you were the scum of the earth.

"You don't have to do this, Madara." You shyly looked at him over your shoulder, feeling bad he's here in the first place. He ignored you while taking a seat. "Arms up." He waited for you to comply, and when you didn't, he pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation. "Quit it with the doe eyes. I have to prove a point to Izuna." 

Ah, brotherly quarrels. Smells like testosterone. 

You lifted your arms tentatively, trying to quell your raging anxiety. You shut your eyes tightly, fully expecting this to hurt. It was surprising to not be met with pain the moment Madara got his hands on you. You had been conditioned to fear him your whole life. . . but here he is wrapping you up with gentle hands. Your inner voice was screaming at you that this was _wrong, _that he's your enemy. . . but you liked the way his chakra felt against your skin. The warmth it emitted was like no other, and though it was ominous at times it was soothing when he had his guard down. 

"I expect you to be back on your feet by next week, Senju." He mumbled. Madara's breath fell against your shoulder and you took a peek at him. His dark eyes were so focused on the task in front of him, he looked so natural. . . so at peace. It reminded you of the night that you had spent underneath the stars with him. . . well, the night before you slaughtered your clansmen. 

You nodded. "I will be up and ready whenever you need."

You noticed that his hands faltered as you spoke, bumping into your chest on accident. 

"I heard about your outburst." Madara changed the subject, finishing up and pressing the tape against the side of your ribcage so it would stick to itself. "That's why I arrived." 

". . . I'm sorry about that. I assumed I was taken hostage. . . I had a dream where I- I saw this man? And he had a-"

"You were stabbed, if that's what you're going to tell me. It wasn't a dream."

You felt like you weren't on the same page, but you weren't going to push it. "Right. . ." You wrapped the robe around yourself properly and turned to face the clan leader. He was right about Izuna not doing it correctly. If Izuna had done it, they would have fallen off and the material of this horrendous robe would've irritated the scar tissue. 

"Well, if you're able to defend yourself like that there isn't any reason to keep you in here. We've got wounded men that need a bed. Come on." Madara barely even waited for you to throw your feet into the slippers and run after him. His strides were long, and you were considerably shorter than him. 

"Am I staying in another jail cell?" You joked to ease the tension, and it seemed to work just a bit. Madara smirked at you while leading you down the pathway. 

"Something like that. You'll be in the same house as Izuna and I. We had a spare bedroom, thank Izuna for the idea." 

. . . 

Well, it was a prison cell after all. A room in the same house as your captor? You started to debate on purposely reopening the cut so you'd be forced to stay with the nurses. You stood in the middle, examining the decorations on the walls, then your eyes landed on the mirror. You hadn't looked at yourself in a very long time.

With quiet footsteps, the reflection in the mirror got less fuzzy. You knelt down and stared at yourself, smoothing your hair down the best you could without a brush, poking and prodding at your face. Something about it didn't seem right. Something about _you_ didn't seem right. Was it all the time you were spending with Madara? Logically you knew that you didn't look any different. . . maybe your eyes were a little darker, your smile wasn't as bright as before and the light in your eyes was dull. . . okay, maybe you did look different. 

You started thinking about the old Senju compound, that seemed so far away now. You sighed, quickly getting tired of looking at yourself. Flopping on the hardwood floor you throw an arm over your eyes. You already knew the tears were going to start coming and you were glad you finally had a room to yourself to let it all out. Madara had said you were free to walk around the compound, and that he'd send someone to get you for dinner, but you were just so. . . exhausted. 

It was hard to say why. You had just slept for a week according to Izuna. You lifted your hands in the air and blinked a few times. _These are the hands that killed the people I loved. . . the people I once protected._

You rolled over on your side as you felt your throat constrict. It was better to face away from the door, if anyone walked in on you hopefully they'd think you passed out or something. 

"Please don't hate me," you whispered to nobody. "I'm so, so sorry for the things I've done." 

Their faces flashed in your mind as you spoke. You wondered what Tobirama and Hashirama thought of you now. . . did they think you truly switched sides? You haven't written them a letter in a while. Oh, that's right! The letters! You pushed yourself off the ground and wiped away the tear streaks from your cheeks (though it didn't do much). With shaking hands you pulled the materials out of your backpack. The ink hadn't spilled, thankfully.

_Dear brother, I am writing you to _

No. That's too formal. You crossed it out. 

<s>Dear brother, I am writing you to</s>

<s></s> _Hashirama, I hope that you do not despise me for the crimes I've committed against our clansmen. Know that their faces will haunt me all the way to my death. Even though I am with the enemy I cannot help but miss my dear brother. I know you were hoping for information from me, but I'm not yet trusted. _

_I will write you soon, _

_love Senju F/n. _


End file.
